New Blog !!

Please read
http://dancethroughtherain.wordpress.com/
J.

Confidence is a must, Cockiness is a plus.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I'm tired of people taking advantage of me. I was riding the train home today and was feeling upset, like I have for the past few weeks. I thought to myself why am I allowing myself to feel like this? Something has to change. So here is to a new perspective on life. This may sounds cocky but I really don't care. I'm so sick of putting in effort plus a shit ton more of effort into relationships, whether it be dating, friends, or whatever. Point of the story is I don't feel like im getting any effort put back into the relationships I'm in. Solution: Fuck them. Im tired, actually im exhausted. I don't sleep well because I worry. I worry about everything. I am putting myself first. No more. Im tired of people not being thankful. I drive them places or pick them up - no thank you's (hi I pay for my own gas, your welcome), I make things for people, I go out of my way to make them feel special, coffee dates when people are upset, I get up early or stay up late to help people. IM BEAT. So no more. If you want me in your life then you are going to have to work to keep me in it. Why, because I have put more than enough energy into every single relationship I want to keep. Do you know how many people I have talked to in the past couple weeks that have told me how stressed they were and then not bothered to ask how I was doing....? A fucking lot. Hi, I've been freaking out all week and really no one has bothered to help me figure it out. I asked myself why? And I figure it's probably cause I can stick a smile on my face and move on. So Im done, done done done done done. You want me put effort it, if not, Im to good for you anyways.

Im tired with stubborn people, swallow your pride and grow up. Yes, I'll admit I am stubborn, and specifically this week I have been dealing with 2 particularly stubborn individuals. And to both of you here is a little note - swallow your pride or you will have absolutely no one in your life because people will give up on you. One of you is always in a fight with someone because you don't know how to pick your battles and the other doesn't feel its necessary to put effort into anything relationship wise with other people. I would suggest both of you change your habits. Best of luck.

- ibelieveinpink.

One in a million

Hi... I guess that's how we start one of these things off. I know I have been absent for a long time. I really didn't mean to be gone for this long. School is definitely giving me a nice kick in the teeth. I logged back on tonight and thank god I read my previous blog entry, in fact I wish I had read that yesterday.... My heart hurts, my brain hurts and my whole body hurts. I don't know what Im doing with my life and the first round of midterms did not go as I had planned. Which is unfortunate because apparently I lack the ability to read the question. Furthermore the curve fucked me hard in bio. I think a B is 78%. Great. Im really being quite a downer this week and possible for the past couple weeks. I dont know what I want to do with my life and I am a planner and stuff like that stresses me out. I don't want to be weak. I dont want to give up. I don't want to cry. I want to do what I love but I dont know what it is that I love. I know that I need to make myself valuable. I need to make companies want me and need to hire me and I know I can do that by doing an accounting/ finance dbl major. I have and always will love children. I want my own children and I love being around them. I have wanted forever to be a pediatrician. I want to save children, because it makes me cry that they die. I think my heart may be a little bit to big in the sense that Im crying right now thinking about this. I want to help children. I would love to be a dietitian that works with annorexic teens. Because it breaks my heart to see that, and knowing how hard it is, because I too have struggled with my eating. I want to know how childrens brain develop. I want to come up with new way to teach them things and I want it to benefit them and make them smarter. I want to give those kids that never had a fair shot a chance. I want to make a difference in the world and I know business is a great degree for finding a job and you will make good money, but is it all about the money? I want to feel full at the end of the day. I want to feel like I have accomplished something. I wish I could find a cure for diseases because those too break my heart. My grandpa died of ALS almost 3 years ago and I miss him so much. I wish there had been a cure for him. I wish he could have seen me graduate. I don't know the purpose of this post. I feel like im rambling...
I guess here is to not knowing what you want yet again.
The search is never ending but hopefully one day it will fall down and smack you in the face. Here is to perseverance and getting to where you want to be. Here is to happiness.
- ibelieveinpink. (although sometimes I have to remind myself why)

Here is a little inspiration from one of my favorite shows One Tree Hills Brooke David

One in a million,

-You're not sorry. But you should be. Do you know what my mother said to me when I told her I wanted to start a company? She said your chances are one in a million. And I said maybe I'm that one, and she said you're not. And she was wrong. And whatever she thought she saw in me, was wrong. Because I am one in a million. And there is a child out there who has something so special inside of them but who's life is so miserable because they think that nobody wants them. And I could be great mother to that child, no matter their age or race or sex. I could help them find what makes them special. And if you can't see that then you're wrong, just like my mother, so why don't you go ahead and write that down?

Nerd it Up.

As the first week draws to an end, I'm feeling tired, sore, and maybe a little excited. I really would like to do well and I do mean quite well in school this year. My inspiration is getting into a program I will love so I never have to take another Organic Chemistry class again. That does however require me to know, what exactly that miracle program is. Thus I have to keep my options open. I need to do a lot of research and figure out what I truly want. That being said I have to focus, focus, focus and study hard this year. Most classes are going extremely well this semester so far, although it has only been 3 days of class. The only class that is stressing me out to the max is organic chemistry. That class will likely end my sanity and cause me to go insane. We have finished the second lecture and I am already lost. I will not however give up on this class, even though ever molecule of my being is telling me to do so. I will work on it this weekend and fight through some practice problems.

Looking at other blogs on the internet I see they all have some purpose or grand story to tell. Some life adventure that takes them traveling around the globe while they fight battles to conquer their dreams and turn them into reality. I was laying on my floor (as I don't have a desk... yet) thinking to myself, what is the purpose of this most random of blogs. Then it hit me, it stands for anyone who has ever not known what they were doing with their life, and being okay with it and searhing for a purpose. I think it stands for something to believe in when you have nothing else. I say this because I definitely felt that way at times this past summer and I think that maybe you can't "belive" in a blog. But I think you have to believe in yourself. You have to believe that you have the strength to get yourself through anything. Hold onto that belief and turn it into strength.

You can do it.
I believe in you.
- ibelieveinpink.

Searching for Prupose

So tomorrow will begin with my second first day on University. Let's hope this year goes a little but better than last year. Perhaps in this year I will figure out what I am truly passionate about and be able to find a job or program that will allow me to apply that passion. My mother is on me to go into business and do either accounting or finance, both which I'm sure I would end up having extremely successful jobs in, and make some good coin. Is that however worth it if I'm giving up something I love. The answer to that is of course no, but I am yet to find something that I love.

I have always wanted to help people and I know many people immediately jump to doctor and although that would be great I think that perhaps there are infact many other ways that one can help others. I am looking into nutrition right now and I do have a lot more research to do, because I do want a job that is challenging and a job where I can progress and have room to grow upwards in.

At the end of this year I will have finished all the crappy pre-requisites for both a BSc major in Nutrition and BComm Major in Accounting and Finance. I will be applying for both and hopefully getting into both so that i can make a decision. I will definitely need to find some dietitians to talk to and find out if there is even job opportunity out there or if business is truly the way to go. I can always go back and take more school. I will also have finished all my classes to get into Med School, minus physics at the end of this year and even though I don't think I have the marks to get in I think I should try, because I have always said it was something I wanted to do.

If anyone has life advice on how to make a decision like this please let me know. I have exactly 365 days until I start my 3rd year and I would like to have a general idea as to what I will be doing with my life...

Until then I will keep believing in m self because right now that's all I can do, and it's always the most important thing. SO readers don't forget it.

- ibelieveinpink

Elle Woods Style

So I know it's been a while and I have definitely been dealing with a lot. I don't really want to get into my personal life a lot on the internet but lets just say there have been issues with a select amount of boys. I have been traveling a lot this summer and I did go to Florida with my family for 2 weeks and then I went to see one of my very best friends Anna Rogers in Twsasseen for 4 days and it was amazing and I miss her like crazy. I am now in Banff with Stephanie and having the time of my life and I am quite drunk. We were watching Legally Blonde and I just loved how Elle Woods held herself. No matter how rude or infuriating the other people were to her she always had a smile on and was never a bitch. I want to be like her. In the final graduation scene where Elle is valedictorian she says "and finally we must always have faith in ourselves." As she said that it was like the world world clicked for me. I have to be okay with myself before I can be okay with other people. I have to believe in myself and have faith in myself. I have to forgive myself for the mistakes I have made and I have to move forward and set goals and achieve them, because I am that good of a person. I can do it. I do believe in myself. I can achieve my dreams. I will work hard this year to get where I want to be. I want to be accepted to business and nutrition and for that I do need a 3.3 which is a B+ and I do believe I can achieve that. So watch me. I will not only amaze you, but i will amaze myself. I won't let any person hold me down. I am my own person and I'm okay by myself.
I believe in myself.
That's All.
<3

East Coast Adventures Begin !!!

On Saturday August 7th at 8:00 we departed for Edmonton International Airport to board AC 1160 with service to Toronto. We cleared security. Not even 10 minutes had past and we run into the Visser/Kent family who are on the flight before us (their flight was delayed) also going to Toronto. We decided we would meet up with them for dinner in Toronto and later that night we had a delectable dinner at Via Allegro in Toronto. Elysia and I had crab ravioli and Jessica, Elysia and I had Wine and then Split Tirimisu and Creme Brulee !! We went to bed last night and woke up this morning to board Ac 902 to Tampa !!!

There was a screaming kid on the fight the for 2 and a half hours !!!! We landed in Tampa and got off the plane. The place we are staying in is AMAZING ! It is right on the ocean !!! There are so many beds I think 5 ! We went to this little place called Old Port across the street for lunch and it was really nice. I need to go back and look at some of the rings because they were so cute!

The Family went grocery shopping and I think bought 5 bottles of wine. Alcohol is so cheap here ranging from 5.49 - 19.99 per bottle. It's great wine too!!!

The rain here is so warm it's amazing! I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds!
I'm so tired but I can't wait to explore more <3
- ibelieveinpink.

<3 Florida